Yesterday I caught myself thinking about my debt repayment progress (or lack thereof) and house/rent payments. I’m coming up on almost four years of living with my parents and I am really longing for independence and being able to have a place of my own. You know that feeling you get of having a place to call your own?
The Great Financial Feeling
It’s having something important with the responsibility it brings; it’s not the same as owning a car or a fancy pair of shoes. I’m talking about really owning something and having your own little corner of the world – I long for that. It may sound completely crazy but I can see myself sitting in my living room with no furniture, maybe just a lamp and the TV, and there’s only a few things in the refrigerator to eat but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter because I’m overwhelmed with the fact that this is mine, that sense of gratitude and accomplishment of owning/renting a small piece of something. And best of all, I have no debt and I can’t afford a stick of furniture but hey, I don’t care. I’ve arrived. Life has started again the way it should have almost four years ago. I’m happy.
Then I wake up out of my reverie and realize this happened…I’m still in debt but I’m making progress.
After my recent fashion learning lessons, I started trying to find the correlation between my excessive cyclical binge/purge spending and the focus that finances require.
Why is it that I lose focus?
Why couldn’t I just think of my debt repayment as a mortgage payment? You can’t use your mortgage payment to buy clothes…well, you can but you won’t get far. Before you can snap your fingers, the bank will be your new landlord and you’ll be their bitch. You can’t get out of a rent or mortgage payment, it’s mandatory.
Why can’t I keep my eyes on the prize? My reason for getting out of debt, the why behind it all?
I can’t answer it and maybe never will. Or, it could be I’m always focusing on lack instead of abundance and filling the gap with spending on the wrong things.
These are the thoughts I have on any given day when I let my mind wander. Then I tell myself, things aren’t that bad, how can I improve this? How can I make things better tomorrow?