That feels a little ominous, doesn’t it? Kind of like Winnie the Pooh singing, I’m just a little Black rain cloud. Ah, I love Winnie the Pooh, and much more than Black Friday.
I’m just a little black rain cloud, hovering over your honey tree….hmm..hmm.hmmm.
Yikes. In all reality I would like Black Friday to go away, it is a whirlwind of non-exciting sales for more or less crap that people are willing to kill each other for in Walmart. Very sad. It’s akin to us Canadians rushing home in a snowstorm without winter tires to watch our new flat screen TV. But not before we spin out, nearly causing three accidents.
#pleasebuywintertiresinsteadofaTV Think that’s the longest hashtag maybe?
The sad reality is that these overly hyped Black Friday sales COST you money more than they save you money. Why? Well, let’s do a hypothetical run through.
- Take day off work or a few hours off. LOST PAY or Sales depending on your job
- Wake up at 3AM to get in line for 5AM but first, head to Starbucks to buy really expensive $5 latte, oh, and that breakfast sandwich you love with egg whites that costs $4.25.
- Stand in line freezing your ass off only to realize the winter coat you have is no good in minus ten-degree weather. Have now made a commitment to buy new winter coat. UGH. Extra expense minimum $200.
- After drinking two Starbucks coffees, realize that you have to go pee and pay some kid $20 to hold your place in line.
- Come back, store opens, everyone gets excited and starts pushing and shoving and lo and behold you’re pushed through a plate glass window. Always wanted a ride in an ambulance! Hot paramedics… Wait, errr, how much does that cost?
- Now have sixteen new stitches and two weeks off work. What do you mean I don’t have short-term disability insurance through work?
You: I thought I signed the paperwork and paid for that coverage! *(&#%*&#(*&!
HR: Emmm…no you didn’t. We are really sorry but not sorry at the same time.
Black Friday Adventure cost $1629
Even if you don’t venture out and stand in line, there’s still the virtual world and all the online sales to tempt you. At this point, I’m hoping my unwavering focus holds out and I keep my plan of ignoring most of Black Friday and Cyber Monday.
Keeping the Shopaholic on Lockdown
So how does one keep a shopaholic away from the computer to avoid spending? Quite simple.
- Do not turn the computer on. This was obvious wasn’t it? Might have to include don’t look at your Smartphone either in that.
- Find other things to keep yourself busy, like exercising and losing those 7 pounds you’ve been trying to lose for 3 months now.
- Play with the cat. When all else fails, the cat is quite entertaining. Especially Maggie. 5 second vid of maggie playing
The Ultimate Black Friday Photo from Krazy Coupon Lady:
Yep, that’s about right. Crazy moms clawing each other’s eyes out for yet another toy their child doesn’t need.
Alright, tell me, are you avoiding Black Friday and Cyber Monday? What’s your strategy for staying away? Please say parking. I hate fighting for parking spots.
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